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Stamets@lemmy.world to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 2 days ago

3 Wishes

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3 Wishes

lemmy.world

Stamets@lemmy.world to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 2 days ago
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  • Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    "his next two wishes are: ice cube in his hand, I back to no talk"

  • abysmalpoptart@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Reminds me of this comic which was also made in 2019 or 2020 i believe.

    • Donkter@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Saw a funny continuation where the dogs first wish is for them to swap bodies and his second wish is that the person couldn’t talk.

      • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        That sounds more like cat wishes to me.

        • stebo@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          why would a cat lower themselves to the life of a petty human?

          • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            Easier to get food that way.

            • stebo@sopuli.xyz
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              2 days ago

              no because now they have to actually work for it and do chores and stuff

              • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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                Yeah, they’d find that out. Human in cat body: “No take-backs! Now scoop my poop!”

            • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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              2 days ago

              If you are able to get food with less work than your cat then I’m either jealous of your life or worried about your cat.

              • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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                How would the cat know how the food gets there? The human leaves, they come back with food. That would be a great “be careful what you wish for” wish.

      • socsa@piefed.social
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        2 days ago

        The tragic comedy is when the dog wishes the human can live forever.

      • abysmalpoptart@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Someone posted a version of that in the comments. A bit dark!

    • bastionntb@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      I’m willing to bet the comic came out first.

      • abysmalpoptart@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I found a thread discussing this and the claim is that a tweet came first, but i wasn’t able to open the imgur link provided. Either way, i definitely saw the comic and not the tweet

  • Nougat@fedia.io
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    2 days ago

    BALL. I WISH FOR BALL.

    • tinkling4938@lemmynsfw.com
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      2 days ago

      • Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        This is where two balls comes in handy.

        • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Granted. One of your testicles grows back.

      • Nougat@fedia.io
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        2 days ago

        I SAID BALL NOT TESTICLE. JUST BECAUSE I CAN TALK DOESN’T MEAN I UNDERSTAND IDIOMS.

        • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          If you understood genies, you would know that twisting your words is par for the course, if not the whole point (⌐■_■)

          • entwine413@lemm.ee
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            2 days ago

            Why would a dog understand genies if they don’t understand idioms?

            • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Good question. They don’t. Neither do people, hence the ironic consequences.

          • kautau@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Testicle

            Twisting your words

            So the genie is technically committing linguistic torsion

          • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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            2 days ago

            Chris and Jack

            Don’t wish to commune with the dead. A lot worse than you can imagine.

  • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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    Technically it can already talk using its own language.

    To talk with human words requires a bump in intelligence which would end up in severe depression once it realises the dynamics of ifs existence.

    As you didn’t wish for that intelligence you’re now stuck with a dog that barks with human vocal cords. Its first wish was made using body language for the genie to pet them. The second wish was to trow a stick.

    • masterspace@lemmy.ca
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      To talk with human words requires a bump in intelligence which would end up in severe depression once it realises the dynamics of ifs existence.

      A bump up in intelligence that allows for speech, doesn’t mean it inherently becomes aware of all the existential dread in the universe or becomes unhappy with its station.

      See: children.

      • ForeverComical@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        all the existential dread in the universe

        See: children.

      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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        2 days ago

        Man I had existential dread at like 3 or 4 when I started wondering what happens after death and what the meaning of this existence is if it’s limited to one lifetime… I’m not even bullshitting.

    • hakase@lemmy.zip
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      Technically non-human animal communication isn’t language.

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Here’s the real genie answer, complete with ironic consequences based on a literal interpretation.

    • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Language = pain

    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      • Sundray@lemmus.org
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        2 days ago

        Tell that to LLM bros 🙄

        • Final Remix@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          They know. They just don’t want to admit it because of investors.

        • oni ᓚᘏᗢ@lemmy.world
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          Lmao. I remember when they got mad because an atari beat up chat-gpt in chess. “Chat-GPT is not a playing-chess thing”

          • samus12345@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            CHOW-DEH!

  • socsa@piefed.social
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    Dog: I wish my human was never sad and will live forever.

    • slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org
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      2 days ago

      I wish we could eat poop together

  • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    That’s nice. I’d wish for the scientific knowledge to create sustainable fusion. That way I could be rich, famous, and save humanity.

    • BlueFootedPetey@sh.itjust.works
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      11 hours ago

      Youd think it would go that way.

  • P1k1e@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Just make sure you don’t try this with your cat

  • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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    “I wish for a litterbox with infinite cat poop.”

    • Dog
  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    wish one: I want to be the best boy/girl

    wish two: I want to overcome my fear of the demon cat

  • don@lemm.ee
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    Dog: whatever it is you’re trying to say, I don’t understand you.

  • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I wonder what the dog would wish for?

    • otacon239@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Food. Twice.

      • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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        Granted. You get dog food twice per day, as usual.

    • zedgeist@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Sausage!

  • sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

  • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    • stebo@sopuli.xyz
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      ok but like isn’t this a great outcome for the human? that dog has to go to school and pay taxes now. jokes on him

      • Texas_Hangover@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        Is this why dogs always stare creepily when the lovemaking starts?

        • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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          20 hours ago

          No, that’s because they had their balls cut.

  • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
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  • gmtom@lemmy.world
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    “I wish I had my balls back”

    “I wish for the humans balls to be removed”

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