Some random dude walked up to me while I was waiting outside a food place for my food and asked me this question.
I said “no, I dont give out random favors” and something along the lines of that’s sus.
Is it rude to say no to random dude that asks for a favor?
He was probably going to ask you to take a photo or something. It’s fine to say no, but kind of rude to refuse to hear the request.
“You can ask.”
You do not owe any random person anything.
(yes really. It may be rude on occasion but you do not owe politeness to just anyone either. And oftentimes politeness is also abused)
‘No.’ is a complete sentence and you do not have to justify yourself in any way. I don’t think that would be considered rude, either.
Well, yes, I would say it’s rude if you have no reason to say no. At least hear them out is usually considered nice.
But…
If the person is clearly wanting to sell something to me, or trick me into something, or take advantage of me (typical in touristic places) I would just say “no thanks” and move on.
my usual answer when I’m suspecting some kind of boundary-pushing behavior is “well you can ask…” …but I have to hear out my psych patients, you don’t owe strangers the same obligation.
you are not obligated to speak to a random person in public at all
As some others have said, no, it’s not rude to decline. Whether or not it’s rude is in how you word it. You were rude in this particular instance.
The question is rude in this context. It’s not rude to completely ignore rude questions.
Your rationalization sounds like some self centered manipulative bullying bullshit.
I’d like to advocate that - even if it is rude - it shouldn’t be a problem. What I mean is, if you ask someone you don’t know well for a favour, and you get a rude or borderline aggressive reply, just accept it and walk away. So many of us give weird-sounding answers in the spur of the moment, with no bad intentions. When you hear/receive one of those weird replies, it does no harm to give it the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t disagree, but the question was whether or not it’s rude. So that’s what I stuck to.
On the contrary, it’d be rude to expect any other answer. Shoving expectations onto a complete stranger and then judging them for firmly denying you is what’s rude here.
“You can ask.”
It’s still a bit passive aggressive, I would feel.
I think if I were quick of thought (oh, how I wish!) I’d reply something positive like, “sure, what’s up?” And then if the request were too onerous I’d say, “sorry, I can’t.”
When a stranger asks for a favor but then doesn’t immediately tell you what that favor is 9 times out of 10 it’s some bullshit you definitely don’t want to say yes to so just the phrasing of the initial question would make me feel less inclined to respond something nice.
Not my experience. I think “can I ask you a favour” is a normal opener to a request, rather than splurting out the whole request right away.
That’s a pretty good answer. Indicates you’re not taking any bullshit without being rude.
It would be rude to not even allow them to ask. But it wouldn’t be rude to turn down the favor after hearing what it is.
(Seriously: If it’s a stranger, it’s not rude at all. It’s actually more rude to ask a complete stranger for a random favor)
Your stance is that I’m required to say yes for some random street person to ask you for a favor?
As in yes, please explain the favor first so I can say no afterwards?
I suffer from anxiety and nearly had a panic attack. Been mugged and had broken bone from it.
Edit, i guess I could have handled it better and was slightly rude for immediate denial.
You chose a seemingly intentionally rude way to respond. There’s a whole lot of ways to decline something, and it’s just as easy to be polite as not. “Sorry, I don’t have time,” even just “sorry” and keep walking are great options. Or you can choose to make someone feel bad just for asking/needing help with something. Not sure why you’d choose to make a stranger feel bad, but I guess that’s up to you.
And btw, the way you are responding to comments makes clear that, rather than genuinely asking this question, you are just looking for people to tell you it was ok to be rude.
I guess you could say OP’s wording was a bit rude (stylistically, not in substance, imo). Personally I’d go with a “No, sorry.” or “Sorry, in a rush!” if on the move, and leave it at that as elaboration leaves the door open for them to pry. Either way the question is about whether it’s rude to refuse, not whether the specific example was.
Personally, I’d rather assume OP is chatting/providing more context rather than fishing for sympathy. Many of the comments that say it is rude also say but not if it’s a rando, which it was.
Keep walking while sitting and waiting for my food…
The interaction made me feel bad.
Like maybe they are getting ready to con me. The foot in the door that someone referenced earlier. I was attempting to be polite and firm with “no, I dont do thing”. It didn’t matter the human that was asking.
I have severe anxiety too. It is an unfortunate additional challenge, but it does not absolve us our part in society nor give us an excuse to treat others poorly.
I don’t think you’re required to do it, personally, but I agree that it would be rude to not even hear someone out. Especially with someone you know even as an acquaintance. It could be anything from, “can you hold this for a second” to “do you mind splitting this $8000 timeshare with me?”
If it’s just a completely random person on the street, and their first word is “can you do me a favor” that’s different. I think it’s still rude, I just also think that when you engage with entirely random people being rude is acceptable sometimes. Especially if there’s an actual reason for you to feel unsafe- if you’re alone/it’s a shady area type thing.
This probably depends on the area, though. I’m from the southeastern US and from my understanding people engage with each other waaay more in public here than they do in- as a random example- New York.
I don’t think it’s rude. It’s a favor, after all, not expected behavior.
I almost always respond with, “depends on the favor.” They could be asking for you to take their picture; they could be asking for $1000 for their MLM. I’m not signing a blank check by answering “yes”.
This is my go-to as well, never fails. Because a lot of the things people want me to do for them (especially at work in public-facing job) are legitimately things I won’t or don’t want to do.
Congrats, you just dodged a fae bargain.
I’d say something like “uhhh what’s up?” or “maybe?” and let them ask a specific question since saying yes sort of feels like agreeing to do the favor without knowing what it is first.
I think I agree with most of the replies here saying that the way it was handled was rude. If the opening response to me talking to someone was like that, I would feel like, okay, who pissed in your cheerios and I would have walked off.
Like others have said, there’s more to the solution than a yes or no. I personally think “depends on the favor” , is a very appropriate response, or a “maybe what do you want” Or if you’re planning on saying no regardless, do it how you did, without calling the other person creepy, its just extremly rude to assume someone is a creep while also shutting them down before they can actually talk.
“Sorry, I can’t help you.” Why? Because sometimes I hand out random favors, but not today to you.
Why? Because I can’t, like I said.
No one has to justify themselves. You asked, I said no. The end.
