I guess I should have said my past “ignorance” instead of my past “views”, because it’s really just assumptions I made based on stereotypes and because I was indeed ignorant. I can remember being in high school (a VERY white high school, we legit had no POCs at all) in my teens and one of my classmates went on vacation to China, and when she got back I asked her didn’t everyone there look the same?? Because all Asians look alike, right?? (please note my sarcasm there)

I remember when I first joined the Army, meeting a black girl my age who loved Metallica and this blew my mind because I’d never known any black people who liked any sort of rock, because they only like rap, right?? (/s). Or when I assumed that trying to manage my own very curly hair was somehow relatable to a black person having to manage THEIR curly hair (it isn’t, at all).

It was never anything outwardly damaging, it was just little ignorant thoughts like that, where I was able to look back on them and be like whoa, I was really wrong/ignorant/racist to assume that. But I also think that that’s part of growing up in America, unfortunately, you don’t realize what’s behind thoughts like that, and yes, I think EVERYONE has those moments of ignorance and covert racism. The trick is to recognize them, learn from them, move on, and not make them again.

Nuke it

I’ve been a short-tempered bitch with people when I really shouldn’t have been. Haven’t been that way in years, but in my youth it happened several times. There’s also been moments I’ve looked back on in my youth and realized I had some views that were the result of institutionalized racism that I didn’t even realize were racist until I’d educated myself years later and realized my poor judgement.

“Chingadera” and a smattering of other Spanish words/slang; “świnia”, which means pig in Polish, because my Grandma says it, and “haiyaaaaaa”, said with a long sigh, thanks Uncle Roger.

I mean, whether or not adults have the time is highly dependent on their daily life schedule. Some adults have more time than others. In my adult life, I’ve had periods where I had no time to play, or could only play casually on the weekends, as well as periods where most of my free time was spent gaming.

Also, if by “luxury” you mean it costs too much, if you have access to the internet, you have access to free video games. Even Steam has free videogames, and you don’t have to have some fancy gaming PC to play some of them.

45yr old woman here, I have never wanted kids. When I was a kid myself and all the other little girls were playing with Barbies and baby dolls, I was playing with Transformers and building forts with the boys outside. When the little girls wanted to play “house”, I was always the pet. Babies and little kids have always had this weird, foreign feeling to me and were something I never wanted to be a part of.

My dad left my mom when I was 8 and my brother was 3. Guess who raised her brother from there on out because mom was working? Add to this that we were poor, it was the 80’s so we were latchkey kids and alone a LOT, and now look at how shitty the world has steadily become since then, and there is no fucking way I was gonna bring a child into it and do that crap all over again, but this time from the very beginning of their lives. Now my aging mother bemoans the fact that she’s the only one left in our extended family that isn’t a grandma (because SURPRISE! My brother is childfree too! Can’t imagine why!), and I have to threaten to stop speaking to her for the hundredth time because I’ve told her I will NEVER have children, do not ask me again.

As I’ve grown into adulthood, there have been so so so many instances where life has gone bad for me, and the FIRST thing I always say to myself is “Thank GOD I don’t have kids!” Every one of those moments would have been exponentially harder if I’d had kids during that time.

Then I look at people I know/have known growing up who have kids, and the ones who have kids with Autism, behavioral issues, major learning disabilities, the parents who know they’re stuck for life with some of these kids, and I thank God again that that is not me, because I dunno how they do it.

Call me selfish, tell me I don’t know what “real love” is, tell me I’m not a “real” woman because I don’t have kids, I don’t give a shit. This is my life, not yours, and I chose not to have kids. “But what if you meet someone you like who has kids!?” I very deliberately only date childfree people, it said as much on all my dating profiles, kids are a deal-breaker. Lo and behold, I’ve been with a childfree partner I found for 5 years. They do exist!

I have 4 eggs left and they’re all right in the middle, 2 in the top row, 2 in the bottom row, to create balance in the flimsy container they came in.

This was me when I was on the pill. I knew exactly what day and what hour it would start.

Game on the left, everything else on the right

There’s a book called The Black Eagle Inn by Christoph Fischer that kinda delves into this. I read it because I was interested in the same thing in terms of the “average” person living in Nazi Germany, but man it was a slog to get through and it’s only 300 pages. I don’t know if it’s just poorly translated or what, but the writing is awful. I’m sure there are better books out there, but you might want to give the book a try.

Raw tomatoes are a disgusting, slimy, mealy abomination. Tomato sauce, tomato soup, and ketchup are all excellent.

Jail is basically my retirement plan if all else fails (and it probably will)

I love my kids so much I chose not to bring them into this fucked up world.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moe_(slang)

Anything with anime “Mo”, porn, or “furry” in it. I’m not hating on them, it’s just not for me.

He (now she) came out as trans. I am bi myself, but I had been attracted to him for his male qualities, and I did not find her attractive as a woman. That, and she deserved to have the life experiences of dating/living as a woman that our marriage could not provide. There were signs well before the divorce, and we did try marriage counseling before we called it quits. We were married 7 years and thankfully had no kids. The divorce was amicable and we are still friends, still hang out and text regularly.

I already had trust issues, but I definitely trust people even less now. I had many people say things like “Oh, but isn’t it nice that she trusted you enough to come out to you?” like that’s some sort of consolation prize for my marriage ending. There is not much support outside of immediate family for the ex-spouses of trans people because so many assume we are all anti-trans because of the divorce, when that’s so far from the truth. If you love someone, you set them free, and that’s what we did for each other by divorcing.

There’s a very fucked up community that call themselves “trans widows”, which is full of angry ex-spouses hating on all things trans. I get their anger, but at the end of the day, it’s the individual person and their particular actions and not the trans community that they should be angry at. The situation is difficult, and I know my ex carries guilt about it, and I could not relate to the “trans widow” community at all.

What can my experience teach you about your own relationships? I dunno, man, probably nothing good. That my paranoia and assumptions were ultimately justified leading up to her coming out? That you can’t trust anyone? That everyone has something to hide? That giving yourself to someone fully isn’t worth the risk? I dunno.