Captain Aggravated

When a cat loafs, the things that stick up on either side of her back? Those are her knees.

Compared to whatever the Switch 2 runs…yeah 100%.

Aeons ago I read something about scientists monitoring weather temperature data in September 2001. A lot of aircraft were grounded that month, and they detected an uptick in temperatures because there were fewer contrails, Earth’s albedo decreased very slightly.

The “chemtrail” conspiracy is particularly stupid. Like, you’ve got to put effort into your own duncefuckery to make the moronic leaps necessary.

“Jetliners are spraying mind control juice”

Uh huh, so, where on the jetliner is it stored? The belly is full of avionics and baggage compartment, the passenger compartment is full of seats, the wings are full of fuel, the tail has maybe a little void space, but enough to crop dust entire time zones? Can you show me any evidence of a jet aircraft equipped with such a dispersion system?

Oh they’re flying special flights just for this? Okay, can you show me such a flight that obviously isn’t what it says it is? There hasn’t been a single air crew, maintenance tech, parts supplier, chemical plant janitor, etc. come forward about any of this?

Oh it’s mixed straight into the fuel! Okay, so the Vote For Obama juice still works after spending hours to days dissolved in kerosene and PRIST, and then burned in a jet engine. Again, nobody anywhere in the fuel supply infrastructure has said anything about this. There hasn’t been a single Youtube video or Reddit thread about “what are my bosses pumping into the jet fuel?”

I guess they’ve also paid off all the chemical labs that analyze fuel, oil and other fluid samples. Because that’s a thing, aircraft mechanics take samples of engine oil and such and send them to labs for gas chromatography. It’s kinda cool, they’ll send you a report that says “We’re seeing elevated levels of tin and copper consistent with accelerated wear of the intake valve bushings.” Nobody has gotten a report back from a lab like that talking about exotic molecules ?

Why would you bother using jet airliners for this that fly extremely high? Some of the particles dispersed would outright NEVER land, some of them will drift hundreds if not thousands of miles before coming to rest in the ocean or a desert. Why not mix the Vote For Obama juice into diesel fuel to be burned by semi-trucks, down near the ground usually where you can find people? Or into automotive gasoline? Surely you could use much less of the chemical that way because it’s being burned so close to people.

Maybe that’s why Big They are so fucking keen to keep Republicans driving big gas guzzling micropenis trucks around? So that Republican areas get basted with Vote For Obama juice.

Oh, also: There’s tetraethyl lead in aviation gasoline. Added as an octane booster and anti-knock additive, it’s a POTENT neurotoxin that makes people stupid and asocial. The fuel pumps have a big sign on them saying as much. It shows up in those chromatography tests of engine oil…and in fact you can see it. A bucket of used aviation piston engine oil has a dull metallic sheen on the surface from the lead that didn’t make it out of the engine. It’s not burned in the quantities that we burn jet fuel, but piston-powered planes do fly lower and closer to civilization in most cases.

But you can’t care about any of that, you’ve got third generation fetal alcohol syndrome so you’re just scared of the lines in the sky.

Remind me. Antelopes: Delicious or nah?

Clue didn’t work in the theater because they did this gimmick where they made three versions with three different endings. So because it had to be consistent with three contradictory endings, you CAN’T solve it as you go; it doesn’t function as a mystery movie. And, it was kind of short.

The TV cut crammed all three endings at the end with the “Here’s what REALLY happened” cards inserted, so one ending is now canonical while the others are plausible alternatives, it runs longer, especially the frantic, energetic ending plays longer, so while it still doesn’t function as a mystery movie, it is now an excellent farce.

I think it also found its audience in young millennials on television; it was made for and by my parents’ generation but they don’t like it, while a lot of people my age love it.