If there is a median size, then half the men are under it. The only reason your coworker would be laughing behind your back about it, is if she was a shallow person - at that point she’ll be laughing about a lot more - height, looks.

At the end of the day, you cannot change your size, anymore than you can change your eyecolor, regrow hair as a bald person, etc. Ultimately, nobody cares about your dicksize, the only person that might is your partner, and even then it’s a prefference. A partner will never check all the “prefference” checkboxes either, since a partner that is “perfect for you” isn’t some magical entity that was created by reading your mind.

Why is it embarrassing?

It depends on the person really. Mythbusters tested this, and the germophobe was the cleanest / didn’t have anything on them in comparison to the others. Iirc they had some UV dye and then had dinner together? Then shined a light on em.

“our customers are so used to this rounding error that fixing it now would lead to more problems than them fixing it every time the situation arises”

Holy crap I thought that financial systems are bulletproof till I actually worked in fintech.