You can’t yada yada yada sex! That’s the best part! People come for that part of the story! That part of the story is what people came to hear.

Took me a second to figure out where I implied I would ignore someone getting attacked. Then I realized you took the part about me not joining their fight to be a physical fight.

What I meant by that is there are people who judge you for buying anything at chick fil a. Why? Because they’re anti-LGBQ. So they don’t shop there. That’s fine. That’s their choice to not shop somewhere because of their own beliefs. But then they judge you if YOU shop there. Because they’re in a fight with chick fil a. They expect me to join their fight. And I stay out of it. Now at the moment, I’ve been on a diet for the past 2 years. So I’m not eating there anyways, but it’s more due to calorie watching than a moral crusade.

But yeah, if I saw some guy getting jumped I’d be happy to throw down. Mostly because it’s the right thing to do, but theres also a small part because I’ve got a violent side that loves fighting, that almost never gets justification to do so. Combine that with the fact that I took up gym workouts recently, and I am just pumped. Almost all the time.

Some people think I come off as ego driven. They think I think highly of myself. As if I’m better than them.

And to an extent, they’re right. Not because I have a big ego, but because I think just the absolute lowest of lows about people in general. I don’t think I’m great. I think that I SHOULD be slightly below average. However, based on how averages actually work, I’m on damn near the top of the scale.

Why?

Well because people are just the worst.

The people on the left think I hate them because I’m a white male in my 40s, who isn’t joining their causes on various social causes.

The people on the right think I hate them (although to be fair, they’re actually right), because I don’t attack minorities and women, and any other special group of the week that’s trendy to hate.

Right after 9/11, there were groups roaming Cleveland killing Arab-Americans. People who had nothing to do with 9/11. Some born IN America. But because of their heritage, they’re getting death threats, and being killed back in 2001. In Cleveland.

Meanwhile, you got blue haired lesbians accusing me of oppressing her by not joining her fight on her behalf. It’s like LADY! I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME!

All of that to say that the world all around would be a LOT better place if everybody modeled their outlook after mine. Here’s how it works…

What’s your religion? I don’t give a fuck.

What’s your gender? Well, mine is male, but I don’t give a fuck.

What’s your sexuality? Well, mine is straight, but I don’t give a fuck.

See how that works? I work with a trans guy, who’s very clearly born a woman, but he says he prefers to be called by male pronouns, and thought of as a male. And guess what? I don’t give a fuck. Why would that offend me? Worst case scenario is that I have to wait 5 minutes to use the bathroom if he is in there when I try to go. If that’s the biggest downside there is, I can’t POSSIBLY imagine giving two shits. Uh…pun not intended.

I don’t know of any gay people I work with. I say that because many are closeted, and I’m really bad at knowing who’s gay. In the mid 90s, I didn’t know richard simmons was gay. Today I look back like “damn. I sure missed all the signs. Like…ALL the signs”. So maybe I DO work with gay people and have no clue. It’s sad that they feel the need to be closeted. Go out and live your life. Give the middle finger to anyone who tries to tell you how to live your life. And as I type this, I realize I just told you how to live your life. Give ME the middle finger too! You don’t have to take that from some random internet stranger! And that’s fine if you give me the finger, because again, my whole thing is I don’t give a fuck.

So you got me, not giving a fuck what people do, or say, or what they are. You can be yourself around me. I still won’t give a fuck, but you have no reason to hide.

You got most of the rest of society trying to control everybody else and mold them in their own image. Starting wars and hate groups because (insert random bullshit reason here)

So yes, I do think I’m better than most of society, but only because all of you assholes set the bar so low. So very low.

Imagine if nobody harassed you for stupid bullshit, like color of skin, or which genitalia you enjoy in your mouth.

So please everybody, try not giving a fuck today!

the nice generally outnumber the not so nice.

Where do you live, and can I move there?

George Carlin said something similar. I may forget the exact quote, but paraphrasing goes something like this:

He had just spent 40 minutes in a routine where he mocks society and points out the deep fundamental issues he has with people. Then he says something along the lines of “It may surprise you to know this, but I’m a people person! No, I’m serious! I am! I LOVE people…just in small groups, preferably no larger than a group of 1, and even then only for 3-5 minutes. Depending on your personality of coarse. But I do! I love people. I love talking to people. People are so interesting when you single them out. Individually theres a lot of smart motherfuckers out there. Lots of smart motherfuckers, who instantly lose their minds when you put them in a group, and start talking about politics and religion. That’s when everything goes to shit. Now suddenly you got guys burning crosses and wearing red armbands. Something about putting people in a group setting makes them forget that they’re really smart by themselves. Thats what I can’t stand. I love people, but I can’t stand a crowd. Because in every crowd is some big ego motherfucker who thinks he’s better than everybody else, and suddenly the actual smart people are nowhere to be found. All those ideas go out the window when you get ideology involved.”

Ehhhhh, believe it or not the 1970s was 50 years ago.

Imagine you’re a woman, about to sleep with a guy. You take his penis into your mouth, but all of the sudden his penis turns into a stick shift. And his whole body wraps around you and turns into a car. And now you’re sitting in the drivers seat with a stick shift stuck in your mouth.

Then you hear in a loud robotic voice, AUTOBOTS! ROLL OUT!!!

And suddenly the lamp in the room turns into a helicopter and flies away.

It’s not until later that you realize that your hookup let his buddy disguise himself and sit in the room to watch.

And then you wonder…if your boyfriend cums on your tits…is it just gasoline? Oil? Winshield wiper fluid?

Man that is an unfortunate headline phrasing. I kept wondering if Optimus Prime has a penis or not.

knows how to make himself look smart

He said, talking about the guy who did a nazi salute on national television, intentionally, and then turned around and did it again for the people in the back. In case there was anyone who missed it the first time.

See what we should do…is look to the french for inspiration on guillotine designs. Why would anyone not want to get rid of this asshole? Why would anyone like him?