Context: I’m 19 and have had my driver’s license since last summer. I was never interested in driving, but my family pressured me into signing up for driving school (they said it’s a basic skill), so I did it and got my license - somehow - despite never feeling safe or in control behind the wheel during the learning process. I haven’t driven much since then, but on the few occasions I did, I still felt out of control. Two weeks ago, I had a pretty bad car accident due to failing to yield the right of way (I struggle with multitasking). I got hit by two cars. Thankfully, my boyfriend was with me. He’s a bit older and much more confident, extroverted, brave, and uninhibited - he managed to handle the situation with the other drivers and deal with all the protocols for me because I was completely overwhelmed and just crying. Thankfully, no one was hurt, so I only got my license suspended for 60 days, a fine, and I have to pay for the damages. My dad settled all of that already. Now I don’t want to ever drive again. But my dad says it’s fine and that every driver gets into an accident at some point.
Former professional driver here (and current avid rider of motorcycles):
Driving absolutely isn’t for everyone. Some people can’t drive. Some people – arguably a lot more people than is currently the norm – shouldn’t. And that’s okay.
If at the end of the day you can get to where you need to go regularly without driving, go for it. Nobody should be pressuring you into driving if you are not comfortable or prepared to do so. It’s not a “basic skill.” It’s a massive privilege, and one that most of the population of the world does not have access to. And it’s also a big responsibility with the potential, as you have observed, for injury or death of yourself or others, and property damage. That’s a responsibility that has to be taken seriously and the maddening fact is that most people don’t treat it with the respect that it’s due.
If you don’t want to drive, don’t. And don’t let other people try to dictate that you should. Or if you want to get back to it later, other people don’t get to dictate your own timeline for that for you.
It depends some on where you are.
Where I live, driving is absolutely a basic skill. It’s just not realistic to get anywhere via any other means in a reasonable timespan. So you either have to drive or be driven basically anywhere. The scale involved isn’t kind to biking, and public transportation is nonexistent. It would take hours to get a taxi that would be egregiously expensive, uber isn’t even an option last I heard.
And this is from the perspective of someone that hates driving- it stresses me out because of the exact reasons you’ve mentioned. I’m in charge of a ton or more of plastic and steel sometimes moving at 70mph, and ignoring the physics based implications, these things are fucking expensive.
Another professional driver here: thank you for saying it. Makes my comment a lot shorter:
In addition to what 👆 this person said, my partner does not drive for very similar reasons to why OP doesn’t. I would encourage op to try it again in a low traffic, low pressure scenario, away from your parents, and see how you feel. If you still don’t feel up to it after a few times of doing that, start looking for a place to live where driving isn’t the only way to get around.
Based response tbh.