So weird how they are saying single origin small batch and then they go and burn the shit out of the beans.
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DM’d, thank you friend.
Thank you for this. My wife left about a week ago. It blindsided me, but I’m hindsight I could have seen it. She’s been throwing herself into her work for the last 4 years. I felt the lack of love, but never had the tools to express my needs. Whenever we talked about it, we ended up fighting.
In hindsight, if someone is not feeling love in a marriage, why would they stay?
Like you, we also always thought we had the tools to work things out.
I’ve learned now that in our relationship she has been anxiously attached – it makes sense now why I could never have the “rational” kind of conversation I wanted with her.
Meanwhile I have been avoidant or possibly fearful-avoidant. What I thought of as “taking a break in an argument when things get heated” to go independently deal with my emotions must have been painful for her, and she would then chase me. End result: neither of us was able to regulate our emotions.
I’ve was open to ENM in our relationship, but she was against it, so we never persued it. So it stings even more seeing signs that she’s been cheating on me. Though I guess, even in ENM, why would you keep seeing a partner whom you feel no love for anymore?
In the last week I have been cramming attachment theory, Gottman, NVC, trying to have some idea of what the hell happened. Now I realize that if I don’t work on myself, I will bring all of my problems to any future relationship. I’m only at the very start of the journey, and every day is still painful – our relationship lasted 15 years, and that can’t be unwound quickly.
Today in SLC someone took a rifle to our march and shot a protestor. Last I heard the victim didn’t make it.
https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2025/06/14/crowd-gathers-salt-lake-city-march/
After the shots, everyone scattered and the shooter hid among others who were trying to shelter & take cover. Some hero noticed the rifle sticking out of his bag, grabbed the bag and called police over:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXjidb2vNwI